Thanksgiving and Trauma: Navigating Family Gatherings When They Feel Overwhelming

Thanksgiving is often marketed as a time for gratitude, connection, and joy. But for many people, especially those with trauma, the holiday can feel more like a gauntlet of emotional challenges. The combination of family dynamics, high expectations, and potential triggers can leave even the most resilient among us feeling overwhelmed.

If this sounds familiar, you're not alone. As a trauma therapist, I’ve seen how the holidays can stir up everything from anxiety to past wounds. The good news? You can take steps to protect your peace while navigating the complexities of Thanksgiving. Let’s explore some practical strategies to help you survive—and even find moments of joy—this holiday season.

Understanding Why Thanksgiving Can Be Triggering

Trauma and the Holiday Amplification Effect

Trauma, whether from childhood experiences, relationships, or other sources, affects how we process emotions and interact with others. The brain's alarm system, designed to protect us, can become hypersensitive in stressful situations. Add in the emotional weight of Thanksgiving, and it’s no wonder things can feel amplified.

Family gatherings, in particular, can bring up past hurts or create new ones. Maybe you feel pressure to meet expectations, or you’re bracing yourself for intrusive questions or judgment. Perhaps you have memories of conflict, loss, or other painful experiences tied to the holidays. These triggers can make Thanksgiving less about gratitude and more about survival.

Setting the Stage for a Peaceful Thanksgiving

Define Your Intentions

Before the big day, take a moment to reflect. Ask yourself: What do I want out of this holiday? Maybe it’s connection with a few supportive family members, or perhaps it’s simply getting through the day without feeling emotionally drained. Setting clear intentions helps you focus on what matters most to you.

When I was younger, I used to feel obligated to attend every family event, no matter how much stress it caused me. Over time, I realized my priority was emotional safety, not fulfilling others’ expectations. Giving myself permission to put my needs first was a game-changer.

Set Realistic Expectations

Forget the Norman Rockwell image of a perfect Thanksgiving. Real life is messy, and that’s okay. Accepting that your day might include some awkward moments—or even conflict—can help you approach it with more resilience.

For example, if you know Aunt Susan tends to bring up politics, plan how you’ll handle it. You might politely change the subject or excuse yourself to refill your drink. It’s not about controlling others; it’s about managing your own response.

Strategies for Handling the Day

Prepare for Potential Triggers

Think about what might come up for you during the gathering. Common triggers include:

• Intrusive questions: “Why aren’t you married yet?” or “When are you having kids?”

• Unresolved conflicts: Tensions with certain family members.

• Overstimulating environments: Loud conversations, crowded spaces, and busy schedules.

To manage these, prepare in advance:

• Practice your responses: If someone asks a triggering question, have a polite but firm answer ready. For example, “I’d rather not talk about that today. How have you been?”

• Create an exit plan: Give yourself permission to step outside, take a walk, or even leave early if needed.

I once had a client who felt trapped at family gatherings because she didn’t think it was okay to leave early. We worked on reframing this: setting boundaries, including when to leave, is an act of self-care. The next year, she brought her own car, stayed for just two hours, and felt proud of herself for protecting her emotional health.

Stay Grounded in the Moment

When emotions run high, grounding techniques can help you stay present:

• 5-4-3-2-1 Method: Identify 5 things you see, 4 you can touch, 3 you hear, 2 you smell, and 1 you taste.

• Deep breathing: Inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 4 seconds, exhale for 4 seconds. Repeat until you feel calmer.

When I feel overwhelmed at a gathering, I excuse myself to the bathroom, take a few deep breaths, and remind myself that I can handle this moment. It’s amazing how just a few minutes can reset your mindset.

Prioritize Self-Care

Self-care isn’t just about bubble baths (though those are great, too). On Thanksgiving, it’s about protecting your energy:

• Before the event: Do something calming, like journaling, meditating, or going for a walk.

• During the event: Take breaks as needed. Find a quiet space or step outside for fresh air.

• After the event: Plan something comforting, like watching your favorite movie or eating leftovers in peace.

When to Say “No”

Sometimes, the healthiest choice is not to attend the gathering at all. If the thought of being there feels more harmful than helpful, consider opting out.

Saying no can be hard, especially if you’re worried about disappointing others. But your mental health matters. You can decline respectfully by saying something like, “Thank you for the invite, but I’m not able to make it this year. Let’s catch up soon.”

A client once told me she felt guilty skipping Thanksgiving after years of forcing herself to attend despite toxic family dynamics. But after deciding to spend the day with a close friend instead, she realized it was one of her most peaceful holidays ever.

Reflecting and Recovering After the Holiday

Process Your Emotions

Once Thanksgiving is over, take time to unpack how you feel. Journaling can be a helpful tool for processing your experience:

• What went well?

• What didn’t?

• What would you like to do differently next time?

Celebrate Small Wins

Did you set a boundary? Use a grounding technique? Leave when you needed to? Celebrate those victories, no matter how small they seem. Surviving a triggering situation is an achievement worth acknowledging.

Plan for the Future

Use what you’ve learned to prepare for the next holiday. Every step you take toward protecting your peace makes future gatherings a little easier.

Final Thoughts

Thanksgiving doesn’t have to be perfect—or even joyful—to be worthwhile. If it feels overwhelming, remember that it’s okay to prioritize your mental health. Whether that means setting boundaries, practicing self-care, or even skipping the event altogether, your well-being is what matters most.

As you navigate this holiday season, be kind to yourself. Trauma recovery is a journey, and every small step you take toward healing is something to be grateful for.

You’ve got this. 💛

Is CPT the Key to Beating PTSD for Good?

If you’re reading this, you may already know how PTSD can feel like an unwelcome companion that never quite goes away. The symptoms can be overwhelming, and even if you’ve tried other forms of therapy, you might still feel stuck. But here’s something that might surprise you: Cognitive Processing Therapy (CPT) could be the key to truly overcoming PTSD. CPT is backed by solid science, focuses on changing the way we think about traumatic events, and has helped countless people reclaim their lives.

Let’s dig into what makes CPT effective, how it works, and how you can tell if it’s the right choice for you. If you’d like, schedule a FREE consult to discuss whether CPT is a good fit.

What Is Cognitive Processing Therapy (CPT)?

So, what exactly is CPT? Developed primarily to help people with PTSD, Cognitive Processing Therapy (or CPT) is a type of cognitive therapy that zeroes in on the unhelpful thoughts and beliefs trauma can leave behind. Unlike some therapies that focus mostly on emotions, CPT focuses on the way you think about your trauma—and it helps you reshape those thoughts in a way that can ultimately ease PTSD symptoms.

The History of CPT

CPT was developed in the late 1980s and was initially designed to help veterans and military personnel dealing with combat-related PTSD. Its success within the military led to wider use, and now it’s recognized as one of the most effective therapies for a broad range of trauma survivors, from survivors of abuse to those who’ve experienced accidents or loss.

CPT vs. Other Therapies

You might be wondering how CPT is different from other therapies, like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) or Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR). CPT specifically targets the thought patterns related to trauma, challenging deeply rooted beliefs that often keep PTSD symptoms active. For example, if you’ve had a traumatic experience that left you feeling unsafe in all situations, CPT can help shift that belief, showing your brain that not all situations are dangerous. While CBT also targets thought patterns, CPT is designed specifically with trauma in mind, and EMDR, on the other hand, focuses on processing traumatic memories through specific eye movements.

How CPT Works to Address PTSD

Now that we know what CPT is, let’s look at how it actually works to address PTSD. The process usually involves a structured series of sessions, often around 12-16, that follow a clear path to help you unpack and shift the beliefs that fuel PTSD.

Core Mechanisms of CPT

CPT works by focusing on three main areas: cognitive restructuring, trauma processing, and skill-building.

• Cognitive Restructuring: In CPT, you’ll work with your therapist to identify specific beliefs related to your trauma—like “I’m always in danger” or “I’m broken because of what happened.” By analyzing and challenging these thoughts, you start to realize they might not be entirely accurate or helpful.

• Trauma Processing: Through specific techniques and exercises, CPT helps you examine the trauma itself and how it’s impacted you. You’ll begin to see your experience in a different light, and the intense emotions and distress around it start to lessen.

• Skill-Building: CPT isn’t just about dealing with past trauma. It also helps you develop skills for managing stress and emotional responses to future challenges, so you’re not easily triggered or overwhelmed by new situations.

What to Expect in CPT Sessions

When you start CPT, you’ll go through a series of structured sessions, often lasting between 45 and 60 minutes each. In the beginning, you’ll focus on understanding how trauma has shaped your thoughts. As you move through the process, you’ll use worksheets and exercises to analyze your thoughts and emotions—these tools help you practice new ways of thinking and reacting.

For instance, you might be asked to write down a troubling memory and note your thoughts about it. This exercise might seem simple, but it helps bring clarity and often shows you where your thoughts might be skewed by fear or hurt.

The Importance of Homework in CPT

One unique aspect of CPT is the emphasis on homework. This can include journaling, completing thought records, and practicing the skills you learn in therapy. Homework might feel intimidating at first, but it’s incredibly valuable. One client I worked with shared that, at first, they felt overwhelmed by the homework. But over time, they began to see how it helped reinforce what we discussed in our sessions, making each new insight stick a little more.

The Science Behind CPT’s Effectiveness for PTSD

There’s a reason CPT has gained such a strong reputation: it’s grounded in science. Numerous studies have shown CPT to be effective for reducing PTSD symptoms, and many people who complete CPT experience lasting relief.

Research on CPT and PTSD

Several studies show that CPT is highly effective for reducing the symptoms of PTSD. For example, in one study with military veterans, up to 50% showed a significant reduction in PTSD symptoms after completing CPT. Other studies with civilian populations have found similar results, with many people experiencing lasting changes even after therapy ends.

How CPT Changes the Brain

CPT works by changing the way our brains process and store traumatic memories. Think of it like rewiring your brain: the pathways that once led to fear or distress when thinking about a traumatic event are replaced with pathways that allow for a more neutral response. This is called neuroplasticity, and it’s one of the most powerful aspects of trauma therapy.

Why CPT May Be the Best Choice for Some PTSD Sufferers

So, is CPT the right fit for everyone with PTSD? Not necessarily, but for many, it can be life-changing. CPT tends to work best for people who:

1. Struggle with Persistent Negative Beliefs

If your PTSD symptoms stem from negative beliefs that have stuck around since the trauma, CPT can be a game-changer. For example, one client felt deeply that they couldn’t trust anyone after a traumatic experience, which affected their relationships. Through CPT, they learned to reshape this belief, eventually finding that not everyone was untrustworthy.

2. Are Dealing with Complex Trauma

If you’ve experienced multiple or prolonged traumas, CPT may be especially effective. It provides a clear structure for tackling various aspects of trauma and helps break down overwhelming experiences into manageable parts.

3. Prefer a Structured, Practical Approach

For those who appreciate structure and practical tools, CPT offers a straightforward path. It’s particularly appealing to people who want a clear outline of what therapy will look like and specific steps they can follow.

How to Know If CPT is Right for You

Choosing a therapy can feel overwhelming, especially when dealing with PTSD symptoms. Here are a few questions to ask yourself to determine if CPT might be a good fit:

• Do I want a structured, step-by-step approach?

• Am I ready to work on changing my thoughts about the trauma?

• Do I have access to a therapist trained in CPT?

Finding a Qualified CPT Therapist

If you think CPT might be a good fit, it’s important to find a therapist who is specifically trained in CPT. As someone who has used CPT to successfully treat over 120 people, I am uniquely qualified to handle the toughest trauma cases. I am pleased to offer a FREE consult to anyone seeking to recover from trauma.

What to Expect in a CPT Evaluation Session

In an evaluation session, a CPT therapist will typically review your symptoms, discuss your trauma history, and explain how CPT could help you. They might also introduce you to a few exercises to see how comfortable you are with the therapy structure.

Practical Tips for Maximizing Your Success with CPT

Once you’ve started CPT, there are a few ways to make the most of it:

• Stay Consistent with Homework: Remember, the more you put into the homework, the more you’ll get out of CPT. Take it one step at a time, and don’t worry if it feels challenging at first.

• Be Patient with Yourself: Trauma recovery is not linear, and CPT can be challenging work. Allow yourself the time and space to process without putting too much pressure on yourself.

• Build a Support System: Connecting with others who understand can be incredibly helpful. This might mean joining a PTSD support group, talking to trusted friends or family, or finding an online community.

Common Challenges in CPT and How to Overcome Them

Therapy, especially for trauma, can be tough. Here are some common challenges people face in CPT—and ways to overcome them.

Confronting Painful Memories

It’s normal to feel resistant when discussing trauma, especially at first. Try grounding techniques to help manage these emotions, and remind yourself that you’re in a safe space with your therapist.

Challenging Long-Held Beliefs

It can be difficult to let go of beliefs that feel familiar, even if they’re unhelpful. Progress may be slow, but the more you engage with the process, the easier it becomes to reshape your thoughts.

Staying Motivated Through Setbacks

Therapy progress isn’t always straightforward. Celebrate your small wins, and keep a journal of your growth to remind yourself how far you’ve come. A setback doesn’t erase your progress.

Conclusion: Can CPT Help You Beat PTSD for Good?

CPT is one of the most effective therapies for PTSD, and for many people, it offers a way to truly heal. By targeting the thoughts that fuel PTSD, CPT can help you shift your perspective, lessen distress, and regain control over your life.

If you’re ready to take the next step, consider reaching out to a trauma-informed therapist to explore CPT. Healing from trauma is possible, and CPT might just be the key you’ve been looking for.

Can You Rewire Your Brain After Trauma? The Science Says Yes!

If you've ever felt trapped by the impact of trauma, I want you to know something important: you can heal. It’s common to feel like trauma is a life sentence, but science has shown that your brain has the incredible ability to recover, grow, and even rewire itself. This idea comes from a concept called neuroplasticity, which means that with the right tools and practices, your brain can change in ways that support your healing.

Let's dive into the science behind how trauma affects the brain, how you can rewire it, and some practical steps you can start today to help yourself recover.

How Trauma Changes Your Brain

Trauma doesn't just affect your emotions—it changes the way your brain works. Whether you’ve experienced a single traumatic event, such as an accident, or ongoing trauma, like emotional abuse, your brain responds by going into survival mode.

The Fight, Flight, or Freeze Response

When trauma hits, your brain’s amygdala (the part responsible for your fight, flight, or freeze response) kicks into overdrive. It's like your brain gets stuck in emergency mode, always on the lookout for danger, even if you're safe now. At the same time, your prefrontal cortex—the part of your brain responsible for logical thinking and decision-making—tends to shut down.

I’ve seen clients who’ve gone through traumatic experiences describe it like being on constant alert. One woman shared how even everyday noises, like a door slamming, would send her into a panic. This isn’t just emotional—it’s a physiological response. Your brain is reacting as if the trauma is still happening.

Long-Term Effects on Brain Function

If trauma is untreated, these changes in the brain can become long-term. You might notice symptoms like trouble concentrating, emotional numbness, or a heightened startle response. The hippocampus, which is crucial for memory and emotional regulation, can actually shrink due to chronic stress.

But here’s the good news: even if trauma has caused these changes, your brain is not broken. It can heal and rewire, thanks to neuroplasticity.

What is Neuroplasticity? Your Brain’s Superpower

Rewiring the Brain

Neuroplasticity refers to your brain’s ability to reorganize and form new neural connections. Think of your brain like a road map: trauma might have created detours or roadblocks, but neuroplasticity allows you to rebuild those roads. With the right therapy, you can create new pathways that help you manage trauma triggers, reduce anxiety, and regain control over your emotions.

There’s a famous study that often comes up in trauma recovery circles about London taxi drivers. Their job requires them to memorize and navigate thousands of streets, and over time, their hippocampus actually grows. This is neuroplasticity at work—your brain changes based on your experiences. The same principle applies when you work through trauma.

Evidence-Based Therapies That Rewire the Brain

So, how do you get your brain to rewire itself after trauma? The key is using therapies that leverage neuroplasticity to create lasting changes in your brain.

1. Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)

EMDR therapy is one of the most effective therapies for trauma recovery. It helps your brain reprocess traumatic memories so they no longer trigger the intense emotional responses they once did. I’ve had clients who were skeptical about EMDR therapy at first, but after a few sessions, they found that memories that once overwhelmed them no longer had the same power.

Research has shown that EMDR therapy can reduce the emotional charge of traumatic memories and help the brain process them in a way that feels less threatening. Essentially, your brain learns to store these memories differently, allowing you to move forward without constantly being pulled back into the trauma.

2. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)

CBT focuses on changing unhelpful thought patterns that keep you stuck in a trauma loop. When you’ve been through trauma, it’s easy to fall into negative thinking—"I’m not safe," "I can’t trust anyone," or "I’m worthless." CBT helps you challenge these thoughts and replace them with healthier, more accurate ones.

The beauty of CBT is that it taps into neuroplasticity by forming new, positive thought patterns. Over time, as you practice these new ways of thinking, you literally reshape the connections in your brain.

3. Mindfulness and Meditation

Mindfulness practices, like meditation or deep breathing, help regulate your brain’s stress response. When you practice mindfulness, you’re training your brain to focus on the present moment, which reduces the power of traumatic memories. Research has shown that mindfulness can decrease activity in the amygdala, the part of your brain responsible for fear and stress, and increase activity in the prefrontal cortex, which helps with logical thinking and emotional regulation.

I often suggest to clients that they start small—maybe just a 5-minute breathing exercise each day. One client shared how this simple practice helped her feel more in control of her anxiety, and over time, she noticed she wasn’t as easily triggered by stressful situations.

4. Somatic Experiencing and Trauma-Focused Yoga

Trauma doesn’t just live in your mind—it lives in your body. Somatic therapies, like Somatic Experiencing and trauma-focused yoga, focus on releasing trauma that’s stored in the body. These practices help calm your nervous system and reconnect you with your body, which in turn helps your brain feel safe again.

One client of mine found that through trauma-focused yoga, she was able to connect with emotions she hadn’t even realized she was holding onto. This body-centered work can be incredibly powerful in helping your brain let go of the constant fight-or-flight response.

Practical Steps to Start Rewiring Your Brain

Step 1: Work with a Trauma-Informed Therapist

The first step in rewiring your brain is finding a trauma therapist who understands how trauma impacts the brain. Whether it’s EMDR, CBT, or somatic therapies, working with a professional will give you the support and tools you need to heal.

When looking for a therapist, ask about their experience with trauma and their approach to neuroplasticity. It’s important to find someone you feel comfortable with, as the therapeutic relationship is a key part of your healing process.

Step 2: Develop Healthy Habits to Support Brain Health

In addition to therapy, there are lifestyle changes that can support your brain’s healing process. Regular exercise, good sleep hygiene, and mindfulness practices can all promote brain health and resilience.

• Exercise: Physical activity boosts neuroplasticity and helps reduce symptoms of anxiety and depression.

• Sleep: Getting enough rest is crucial for your brain to process and heal from trauma.

• Mindfulness: Even just a few minutes of meditation each day can help calm your brain’s stress response.

Step 3: Be Patient with Yourself

Healing from trauma takes time. You may not notice changes overnight, but consistency is key. Neuroplasticity is a gradual process, and with persistence, you’ll start to notice shifts in how you think, feel, and react to triggers.

I’ve had clients who felt discouraged after a few weeks of therapy, but by sticking with it, they began to see profound changes in how they managed their emotions and approached life.

Overcoming Setbacks in Trauma Recovery

It's important to remember that setbacks are a normal part of the healing process. Trauma recovery isn’t linear—you might have days where you feel like you’re back at square one. That’s okay. It doesn’t mean your brain isn’t healing.

Reaching Out for Support

Having a support system in place is crucial. Whether it’s friends, family, or a trauma recovery group, surrounding yourself with people who understand what you’re going through can make a world of difference. Connection helps your brain heal—isolation tends to reinforce the patterns trauma created.

Conclusion: Yes, You Can Rewire Your Brain!

If you take away one thing from this article, let it be this: you have the power to heal. The effects of trauma don’t have to define your life. Your brain is constantly evolving, and with the right support, therapies, and tools, you can rewire it to work for you—not against you.

Don’t hesitate to take that first step. Healing is possible, and the science says yes—you can rewire your brain after trauma.

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Be clear, be confident and don’t overthink it. The beauty of your story is that it’s going to continue to evolve and your site can evolve with it. Your goal should be to make it feel right for right now. Later will take care of itself. It always does.